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Weird Week in Football: Gaffes, laughs, and wasted draughts

Reuters / Michaela Rehle Livepic

Every Monday, theScore will highlight the most outlandish moments from the wacky, sometimes daft, and perennially entertaining world of football. Here's what made us smile - or cringe - on the pitch this past week.

With four of Europe's top five leagues bidding adieu to league campaigns this past weekend, there was plenty of bizarre among all the pomp and pageantry of trophies and triumphs.

Before we get started, the year's entry for the Best Photograph in Football:

Related - Look: Beer showers dominate Bayern Munich's Bundesliga celebration

Miralem Panics

Not only has Mario Mandzukic taken his move to the left-wing like a pig to pickled poop, the Croatian international displayed a penchant for the prank as he and his fellow Bianconeri celebrated a record sixth straight Scudetto.

Moisturisers and monsters highlight Liverpool advert

Now that Liverpool has secured a second top-four finish in eight seasons and a return to Champions League football, the squad can focus on all the benefits of a wide-ranging line of men's care products provided by club sponsor Nivea.

Takeaways: Nathaniel Clyne is fit, Roberto Firmino's teeth are visible from space, and midfielder-cum-left-back James Milner both parks illegally outside Anfield and is dead, courtesy of whatever that was. Somebody page Alberto Moreno and remind him to bring his boots to training.

Shafted for souvenirs

An enterprising Hamburg supporter elated that his side secured its top-flight safety with a 2-1 victory over Wolfsburg on Saturday decided to forever cherish the moment by taking home one of the Volksparkstadion goalposts.

Somewhere, Vincent Enyeama is cursing the fate of the Lower Saxon sole pole.

Getting silly in Philly

It's taken months, but the Philadelphia Union has finally narrowed its search for an official tattoo artist down to five.

"This is an exciting initiative for all of us here at Philadelphia Union as we look to provide a revolutionary service for our players and front office, particularly those new to the area,” vice president of marketing Doug Vosik told the club's website.

As curious as this initiative from the Union and its sky-high means of delivering the match ball for Saturday's victory over the Colorado Rapids, something's working, as the former Eastern Conference bottom-dwellers followed a franchise-worst start with a volcanic-hot run of four wins on the bounce.

On the topic of ink, Leroy Sane, what in the bloody hell?

Run off on the plug

Hibs star and Scotland Under-21 regular Jason "Cum Dog" Cummings made a south Wales sojourn to Cardiff on the heels of the Cabbage's return to the top flight, and the Edinburgh boy came prepared.

Like a square peg in a round hole.

And now, your Manchester United inspired moments of zen:

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