Weird Week in 🏀: No snubs, glitches in the Matrix, and slime time

Every Sunday, theScore highlights the week's lighter moments from around the basketball universe. Frankly, this last week was not a good one for the game we love. Still, basketball continues on. Here's what caught my eye this week.

A snub is a guy who thinks he's fly

This week's announcements for the participants in the All-Star Weekend festivities sparked an outpouring of whining from those who felt they were snubbed from this year's events. Three instances stood out as being particularly cringey.

The Phoenix Suns' official Twitter account tweeted out general manager James Jones' statement in defense of Devin Booker as an All-Star reserve.

Here's the thing: There are 24 All-Stars this year, and Booker is undoubtedly not one of them. (I checked.)

(Jones' statement is even cornier when viewed in its email format.)

Next, we have Philadelphia 76ers rookie Matisse Thybulle, who is evidently quite upset he was not invited to play in the Rising Stars game - an exhibition with as little drama as the All-Star Game, but with far inferior players.

This time, his agent did the dirty work.

Did that adult man seriously just write "ASSistant coaches?" That's a full order of magnitude more insulting than calling them "poo-poo heads!" Is there no sense of decorum around the NBA these days?

Perhaps the funniest outrage came courtesy of New Orleans Pelicans rookie Jaxson Hayes, who is putting up a pedestrian 8.3 points and 4.5 rebounds per game.

In his case, both the team and his agent were not willing to throw out their credibility to suggest he should've been selected to the Rising Stars game, so he released his own profane tirade against the NBA - which resulted in some whiplash-inducing backtracking on his part. You can see Hayes' profanity-laced rant and his ensuing apology here.

Damn, you's a Sexton glitch

This defensive positioning by Cleveland Cavaliers guard Collin Sexton is a classic case of paralysis by analysis (or a glitch in the Matrix).

Do ya like spaz?

Apparently, everyone is in a rather twitchy mood these days. Utah Jazz All-Star Rudy Gobert showed off a new interpretive dance inspired by the moments in life when you accidentally get water in your ears.

Right on slime

Which of Sigmund Freud's five stages of psychosexual development is getting covered in neon-green slime?

It's kind of weird that Robert Covington's childhood dreams involved being slimed while in the midst of an 11-game losing streak, but we've all got our deeply repressed desires, I suppose.

Kawhi not?

With players around the league starting to act like malfunctioning automatons, the player whose demeanor most closely resembles that of the Terminator has evidently decided to start acting like a human being.

Kawhi Leonard had some fun with the media before leaving to attend his jersey retirement ceremony at San Diego State on Saturday.

For the record, Google Maps says it would take an average person roughly 45 hours to walk from the Los Angeles Clippers' practice facility to San Diego State's Viejas Arena.

Seems doable.

Kernels of truth

There's at least a small chance that the People's Republic of China is actively sabotaging the popcorn machines at the Toyota Center to get back at Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey. We simply cannot rule that possibility out.

Come back next Sunday for more oddities, inanities, and obscenities from the wonderful world of basketball - and send nominations and submissions to [email protected].