Skip to content

Phelps opens up about battle with depression, suicidal thoughts

MARTIN BUREAU / AFP / Getty

Michael Phelps revealed he has contemplated suicide in the past while speaking at a mental health conference in Chicago this week.

The 23-time Olympic gold medalist touched on his battle with depression and anxiety, as well as his drug abuse, during the 20-minute discussion.

"Really, after every Olympics I think I fell into a major state of depression," Phelps told the audience at the Kennedy Forum, according to Susan Scutti of CNN. "I would say '04 was probably the first depression spell I went through."

A photo surfaced in 2009 showing him smoking from a bong, and Phelps said drugs were his way of running from "whatever it was I wanted to run from."

His "all-time low" came after the 2012 Olympics in London, England, when he first announced he was retiring from swimming.

"I didn't want to be in the sport anymore ... I didn't want to be alive anymore," Phelps said.

By opening up about his own struggles, Phelps hopes to encourage others to do the same, maintaining that reaching people is "way more powerful" than his professional exploits.

"Those moments and those feelings and those emotions for me are light years better than winning the Olympic gold medal," he said. "I am extremely thankful that I did not take my life."

Daily Newsletter

Get the latest trending sports news daily in your inbox